These are the text reviews from my 2 main dance tracks, 'Krakatoa' and 'Kinaesthesia', which are getting reviewed over at Garageband.com. This works anonymously and randomly, so you can't choose which song to review and you don't know who it's by until you've finished reviewing it, so the reviews are on the whole honest. I've decided to include all the text reviews unedited here, so there's the whole range from very positive to very negative :)
 
Garageband.com Reviews
 
Krakatoa
 
Good work. I do like good use of vocal tracks within songs and this is no exception. Good work.

vire02 - Phoenix, Arizona

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Nice beat. Nice beat, the voices gotta go!

Special Award:Best Elevator Song

bioman52 - Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

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Mellow Out this track is okay, I really like the man's voice. I just think the song lacks something. It just kid of sits there. It's mellow and sounds cool though.

canadianboarder - St. Albert, Alberta, Canada

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orb + afx this song seems like a mix between afx and orb. i like it.. 

xnor - London, Ontario, Canada

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tell me a story daddy man, that sample was cool. I really dig when electronic tunes have that kind of story over them...a long sample to hold it all together.

swarfare - Haverhill, Massachusetts

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Hypontic Superfunk This is the way to go...:

mrnapster - Mississauga, Ontario, Canada

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dreamy yet need to merge more.. kinda dreamy, beatful, and very nice flow as a independent work try to make the background music more fluid and dreamy, that will help the talking part merge with the music better...also, a bit more variety through the whole peice would make this more interestign... 

siya - Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada

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The long song It s much too long to start, I lost interest fast. 

Gamathorn - Charlesbourg, Quebec, Canada

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slow-dance is this to be danced to? im confused..

schooleyT - Brooklyn, New York

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Not a dance I was waiting to hear some dance beat... nothing happend 

Lovegroove - Toronto, Ontario, Canada

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better than nothin' not bad. keep it up 

Extra Credit: Beat

cutie_petutie - Fun City Bc, British Columbia, Canada

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Kinda spooky Cool, but it's kinda flat. needs to focus less on the speech, and more on the themes behind it. Lots of potential for growth here. Great ambience tho. 

Extra Credit: Beat, Mood

Special Award:Best Potential Movie Soundtrack

LAV25 - Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

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A little too long Song is too long....not interesting. You won't reach a large audience if you don't make it more interesting.

Dmon - St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada

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lose the talking and have a good song the song would be better without the talking

heidema - London, Ontario, Canada

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Long.Almost trancy in a bad way. It needs a beat.

psychop - Montreal, Quebec, Canada

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I don't know--- This is okay, but I don't think that I want to listen this again. This is littlebit of irritating, but I'm sure that somebody else will like this!

Extra Credit: Beat

eSSi - Hki, Finland

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so, did you pay for that... vocal sample? his voice is so familiar, i can't remember his name, though. it fits the song quite well. i like the sweeping effect of the synths.

Extra Credit: Sequencer/Effects Programming, Lyrics

max_powers - Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

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an 80's thingy it sounds like one of those 80s dance hits. it doesn't move like a modern dance tune should. and what's up with the commentating.

PitchBlack - Toronto, Ontario, Canada

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A news broadcast... to music? Some interesting sampling throughout. Not much of a dance track though... I kept waiting for the real beat to begin. But alas, I was not rewarded for my patience :-(

Molson_Man - Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

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Crazy Tone Syphon Hexagon Interesting samples... But it all works to make a sombre, mysterious song. This track is relaxing until you liste to the lyrics. That's what makes it great: the lyrics. The beat and the constant chords evoke some mystery and keep the interest by changing frequently. Good stuff. 

Extra Credit: Lyrics

hazumi - Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

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Monty Python meets Phillip Glass on the 6:00 NEWS Just great. A novel way to present an interesting narrative story.

Extra Credit: Male Vocals, Sequencer/Effects Programming, Production, Lyrics, Mood

Special Award:Most Rocking Track 

MHz - Kingston, Ontario, Canada

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history in music This is a very mysterious track, and I could hear it being used in a movie soundtrack. I really like it.

Extra Credit: Keyboards/Organ/Piano

Special Award:Grooviest Rhythm

Yanet - Caledonia, Ontario, Canada

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DUMB Well first lets see. This is not story time. This has a good beat and everything. But as for dancing to it I don't think so. I have taken dance for 13 years and this is not called dancing music. 

Special Award:Best Elevator Song

allensluver - Henderson, North Carolina

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Kick back and relax. It has a slow beginning but deinately takes off 

psychop - Montreal, Quebec, Canada

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blah I am no critic, but I cannot see myself dancing to this song. The keyboard was irritating.

Jenniflower - Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

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moody and disturbing Apocalyptic sounding techno music with some eerie sampling I found interesting. Not dance music as labeled but more of experimental which was interesting. Kind of like mood music for a very disturbed state of mind. needed better production. Would like to hear more from this band.

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LIKE THE MOOD GOOD SAMPLES, TOO BAD IT NEVER RESOLVES.

Reviewed by: SOPHIX

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RANKING: Dance - 375 Overall - 11978 (out of ~ 33000)

 
 
Kinaesthesia
 
Needs something? Didn't really like the beat, kinda boring...sorry 

Reviewed by: cottoncandi

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The X-Files This reminds me of an X-Files episode... I think it's the voices in the background. Nice touch. It sounds like Jon Voigt, is it? That's the dude who played the American President from Pearl Harbor. Let me know... anyways, top notch!

Reviewed by: CaliDreamer

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Good job I think you have something going here. If you could bring out the voices I think it would be better.

Extra Credit: Beat 

Special Award:Best Potential Movie Soundtrack 

Reviewed by: molassses_boy

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what did he say? can`t understand the vocal track at all.

Reviewed by: FGNWisDom

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no bass.... like the vocal samples in the background. the etherial feeling of the track is good, but the levels for the higher layer is a little to dominate. needs to be evenedout more. there also does not to be much base in the track which is a little weird.

Reviewed by: omicrond

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boring I was sort of hoping that what I'm listening to was just an opening, but the entire song is like this. It'd make a good opening, but I can't listen to 4 minutes of just this. Actually, maybe if the voice was brought out, and I could clearly hear what the man is saying, it'd be something important? I can't tell, though.

Reviewed by: Zabina

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Learning From A Song? Too many science, geography etc. terms! It's like school in a song. I can't dance to this!

Reviewed by: peppergirl

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it wants to go somewhere no, it's screeming to go some where..but never makes it. But I do luv the sample.

Extra Credit: Mood

Reviewed by: terra_ist

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What the were you saying?? the level for vocals are way off, i had no clue what he was saying. It was a different mix, rap with some trancy background. I don't think that it exactly fit into the dance category. The song is too repetitive, it goes nowhere and is hard to listen to because of it. To sell, you have to keep the listener's ear with variation and unfortunetely the average listener has a short attention span.

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Started out great but... At the start I thought this song had great promise but it never got past a good solid intro. If the beat was pumped up a bit this cut would have a good chance at making it.

Extra Credit: Beat

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needs a bit more there wasn't too much to this song nothing to make my jaw drop more like something i'd have as background music good for what it is but it just need that OOMPH

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Wow Spacey...but needs more... Hmm...not so hot on the weak processed tinny drum sample...didn't quite peomote the atmosphere as well as it thinks it does. A nice, safe, effective idea, but it sadly reeks of somebody in their bedroom alone mashed out of their head thinking..."Wow, dude, what if I like put too chords over this dude talking about Uranus...hur hur hur..." Doesn't try to push the boundaries of its own genre at all really...again, if I was mashed, I'm sure I'd nod my head and go "Yeah man"....but above that, it needs more thought and application. Nice mood tho...the keys work, but the use of samples is unambitious and soon grows tired.

Extra Credit: Keyboards/Organ/Piano,

Production Special Award: Best Elevator Song

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I don't like a song that has music that goes no where. A Can't hear what they're saying so what's the point. It's dialog so the most important thing is to be able to understand what they're saying. The words I do hear sounds like a narrator for a weather class

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are you serious? do you really think anyone wants to hear this kind of noise?

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Say what? The beat changes in the song should be more noticeable. They also should take place earlier in the song. I lost interest very quickly. It sounds like a music bed that was set to repeat. The guy speaking should be much louder. He was obviously put in the song for a reason. I could not understand him at all. There also should be some more energy in the song. Dance music isn't supposed to make you sleepy. I hope you don't take these personally. :)

Special Award: Best Elevator Song

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I CANT UNDERSTAND THE VOCALS This sounds like some tree hugger stuff.I work in the nuke industry. But Iam not going to let that effect my Judgement,I thought the synth was great,A little menotionus at times but well done.The vocals were mixed way to low,I could make out about half of what you were saying, Although I disagree with your point of view In some areas of the lyrics,from what I could hear they were well written and thats the beauty of music, self expression!!!!! Good Luck 

Extra Credit: Keyboards/Organ/Piano, Sequencer/Effects Programming

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i dont know sorry guys i really cant come up with any criticism cause i now nothing baout this type of music excpet that id ont like it so keep playin anways

Extra Credit: Sequencer/Effects Programming

Special Award: Best Potential Movie Soundtrack

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space race cool sample intro. the music is so casio sounding. the drums should be prgrammed by a real drummer next time. but its a cool song otherwise check out : THE INSAINTS and THE FEDZ

Extra Credit: Sequencer/Effects Programming

Reviewed by: thefedz

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kool tune nice background tune. Not many beats or rhythm near the start. the vocal give the track depth. I like the overall sound of the track and think that itwould work quite well commercially

Extra Credit: Sequencer/Effects Programming, Lyrics 

Special Award: Coolest Chill-Out Track

Reviewed by: slam_dunc

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In the wrong genre but still quite good. In the wrong genre but still quite good. I thought this was supposed to be dance but anyway the tune was still pretty cool. The vocals fitted into the tune very well and the overall feell of the tune was very smooth and relaxing. Nice work guys.

Reviewed by: Fhrx

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pacey Great voice over on the dance track. Nice feel and mood.

Extra Credit: Sequencer/Effects Programming, Production

Reviewed by: rastavan

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Yeah, not bad. This tune wasn't too bad. The overall feel of it was quite good and the sampled tunes in the background when combined with the sampled vocal tracks and tunes in the foreground worked really well. Keep up the good work guys, sounding very professional.

Reviewed by: Fhyrseeker

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Not a big fan.... Not a big fan of this style of music, but the song sounds ok, eventhough the mix was a little bass heavy

Extra Credit: Mood

Reviewed by: seskball

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Cosmic This is okay, I'm groovin' along learning about the solar system wondering where it will all end. Say, is that David Attenborough on vocals?

Extra Credit: Sequencer/Effects Programming, Production, Lyrics, Mood

Reviewed by: bentfinger 

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Let Me Paint You A Picture... Imagine you are DJ'ing at a party or a rave....they hear your song...slowly but surely people begin to fade into a dream that they have narclpsy, it turns out that your song just dammed them with it....your song is reconized as the first song that has ever in the history of MAN to ever put people to sleep.

Extra Credit: Sequencer/Effects Programming, Production

Reviewed by: KPW

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Needs a hook the song is decent but I kinda felt like it was building to something and that something never came. It was not a bad beat or anything I just expect more from a dance song then a pretty chill background beat. change the beat up some and mix it up. Use the build you already have but build do something.

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hmm copyright? Did you get permission to use the narration from astronomical and meterorological film presentations? 

Reviewed by: Celimage

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C'mon now What is this? No intro, weak transitions, no breakdowns, too repetitive, and what is with the talking? I'm just being honest. It doesn't even seem like a song, let alone a dance song. Sorry 

Special Award: Stupidest Song I've Ever Heard

Reviewed by: DJKAE

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Cool concept The samples about the formation of the solar system keep the listener engaged. The chord progression evokes a sense of mystique. Bassline could follow a different syncopation than the keyboards in my opinion, but that's just me.... Wait, it does after the break.

Reviewed by: Galaxian1

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my head... this has no originality and gives me a migraine. sorry- try agian.

Reviewed by: sonjaredman

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Great chill-out track!! The sounds are great, specially the kind of string sounds. This is a perfect track to chill-out with. I think it's a kind of ambient. The beat which is added just after 2:20 is just perfect for this track. The vocal could do a bit better, it's a bit hard to hear the lyrics. The end could do better with a fade out. The track needs a bit more variation, but nonetheless this is a great track..

Extra Credit: Drums, Keyboards/Organ/Piano, Melody, Beat, Mood

Special Award: Coolest Chill-Out Track

Reviewed by: Aad

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Intro too long! not much of a beat......but good mixing.

Extra Credit: Production

Reviewed by: Houston_giRL

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electronic... I think this song would have more sucess if you put it in the electronic genre instead of the dance one.... because is not danceable... but the song it's ok... maybe some more changes in the melody could bring a whole new feeling to the song.

Reviewed by: topenhauer

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Not bad, but could be better The mix is very dense, and the arrangement is a little odd. The stereo field is just wide enough -- it could stand to be wider but it's okay as it stands. One curious thing is that the bass line is louder in the mix than the drums, not a typical dance mix. Unfortunately, the mix is so dense from the get-go that the song really doesn't have anywhere to build to. Not a bad track, but it's a revision or two away from being great.

Reviewed by: DAVIDVESEL

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REMIX OK BUT THE VOCAL NEEDS TO COME UP IN THE MIX IT'S HARD TO HEAR THE BASS DROWNS IT OUT.

Reviewed by: sleepingsparrow

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Not bad Strange, but not bad. I didn't know what to think lf all the background noise, but at the same time it kinda made the song. Something didn't seem quite right with the sound levels, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Overall, a nice track.

Reviewed by: NosFeratu_

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no I dont care for the backround voices. not dancing material.

Extra Credit: Bass

Special Award: Best Potential Movie Soundtrack 

Reviewed by: papadan2

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I like the "atmosphere"... Considering your song is probably called the same! Very approriate mood for the words the man is reading. But I surely think you should focus on one element: either the voice or the dance beat. If you choose the first one, make it louder and clearer! If you choose the second one, you should really bring in a good, stable, building up drum beat very early into the song.

Extra Credit: Mood

Reviewed by: meeshdude

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spacey synth bass is so sub that its too distorted perhaps real players fault. like the spacey synth.

Reviewed by: TECHNOMARTY

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